Following her recent announcement that she and her husband Will Kopelman will be filing for divorce after four years of marriage, actress Drew Barrymore seems to be doing just fine with being single once again. She was quoted as saying, "I'm so happy now, and I have such a good thing in my life with my kids and everything."
For women who have just got a divorce or are contemplating to go through one, it's worth taking a cue from her and look at the positive side of life after divorce. Says Dr. Kanan Khatau Chikhal, clinical psychologist and counsellor says, "Divorce is never easy. Nor does it provide relief in any form. A woman has to gather herself like a Phoenix to rise from the ashes of who she was to who she chooses to become. And that largely depends on her actions in the now."
With changing times, it is now possible to get a hold of yourself and dig into your bank of experiences to make the most of your life as you move on and excel as a singleton.
You learn to fix things
When in a relationship, it is normal for the man to take charge of fixing things in the house, sometimes even a small thing like changing the bulb. However, once you are single you get an opportunity to learn to fix things yourself and find your way out of small crisis which you would have left to your partner to attend to earlier.
Go and Explore the world
Travel opens your mind to many other opportunities, which've been avoiding since your spouse didn't have the time or was just not interested in globetrotting. But now that you are free, you can use that time to travel as much as you can and explore the world and places, make new friends and have new experiences along the way. You can either travel solo or choose to go on a gal pal trip without trying to adjust with anyone else — be it in terms of dates or finances.
You become a better financial planner
Once you are on your own or rather even when you are going through the divorce process, as a single woman you get on track with the budgeting. Dr. Kanan suggests, "Invest and save well for your future. Hire a financial planner if you find it difficult to do so. You need to channelise your energies towards constructing your future by saving and investing well in what resonates with your school of thought — whether it's shares, property, bonds or gold deposits. Invest. Paint a life that you dreamt of and make it your reality."
Decisions in parenting become easy
"It is very difficult to categorically say that parenting becomes easier after divorce because the trauma of divorce always hits the child hard and generally leaves scars. However, if the relationship between the two adults has been very acrimonious, frequently making the offspring a bone of contention in ego battles, it is probably in the best interest of the child. Once the stress of an unfulfilled, bitter relationship is removed, the single parent is able to focus a little more clearly, on what is best for the child. The youngster has the natural propensity to draw emotional support from the parent present and in the case of a woman, she is now able to streamline her caregiving to the advantage of her child without any disturbing factors disrupting the activity. Also, the time that she has to herself now gives her space to reflect, ruminate and plan ahead for both her child and herself. She is also motivated to do her best as she realises that she is responsible for the well being of her child more than before. The emotional bond that a mother and child share gets stronger and both become a support for each other," says Bela Raja, child guidance counsellor and special educator.
You can put the spotlight on your career
If you are one of those who have kept your career on the backburner, now is the time to get serious about it. Brush up your skills, gather courage and with a new-found confidence grab the opportunities you have been ignoring all this time. This is not to prove your capabilities to anyone, but for your own satisfaction and
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